Tuesday, July 10, 2012

prelude


There is something deeply meditative about the tale of Intsy- the spider we learnt in formative years of school.

Intzy who embarks on a vertical trail to make its way up the wall. it falls down due to forces unfriendly to  gravity.

Intzy gets up,
tries again
falls.

gets up,
tries again,
falls miserably

wobbles but gets up
tries again
falls miserably

-repeat-

-repeat-

Job hunting fills you with emotions similar to that of Intsy's. I'm not here to romanticize his story of failure/success (depending on how you choose to see it), or whine about the harsh times of economic recession we live in which might have triggered the thought behind this note, but definitely doesn't serve the purpose of writing it.The difference between Intsy and me is not our struggle and hardship and our occasional resilience but our destination. While intsy's misery ends with his  successful walk up the varnished walls of the house, mine probably begins there. Having trekked the employment mountain, the next crucial thing required from you is to survive on breadcrumbs that are fed in the name of salary. More significantly to discover reasons to keep you motivated each day, to remain unaffected by mediocrity served to you in enormous portions. To abstain from the greed and overpowering consumerist logic of capitalism every time you're handed your pay cheque. To make a forceful decision of going home instead of heading to the bar after a rough day at work, to let go of the enraging promotion of the guy half as bright as you are, to remain sane and cheerful and optimistic and hungry for knowledge and learning. To remain you. To remain idyllic.

I haven't started working yet but I see a long undulated wall ahead of me. I am not intsy, the spider. I wouldn't rise up if I fall this time. I would run away to Dharamshala and donate my youth and dreams to a humble monastry. 
Alternatively, if i make a headway on to the wall, I promise myself to not get wasted by the abundance of contemporary materialism while ensuring i do not rot in one corner as a bigass bore.